If you’ve ever tried to learn something new, you’ve likely been met with the advice that “everyone sucks” when they first start and that “you will get better at it.” This is oft repeated for creative hobbies like writing. Although I hear this advice all the time, it still feels like bullshit to me.
It’s difficult for me to imagine other people being as bad at doing something as I am. I’m thinking about writing, but this also applies to most things I try (guitar, watercolor painting, making friends). I’m skeptical! I imagine that everyone else sits in front of a blank page or screen, words buzzing happily in their brains. They know what they want to say, and they know how they want to say it.
In reflecting on this fear, I’ve come to the (now very obvious) conclusion that this is a classic case of imposter syndrome. Everyone else has it figured out and I’m the only one who doesn’t “get it.” And I never will!
With that being said, I’m also recognizing some other bad habits that are holding me back.
- Consumption is not creation. Watching countless videos on someone else’s writing process and reading a 256-comment-thread on writing advice isn’t actually doing me any favors.
I’ve deluded myself into believing that I’m being productive by virtue of thinking really hard about the thing I want to do. It’s research! It’s inspiration! But it’s still not “doing the thing” – nothing actually gets done and I never get any better at whatever skill I’m trying to learn.
- The way other people do something isn’t the way I must do something. In my imposter-syndrome-fueled-procrastination, I often seek a process or tool that will solve all of my problems.
Truthfully, I don’t want other people to tell me how and what to think. I don’t think very many of us do. I don’t want to subscribe to a life philosophy just because someone made an artistic video essay about it. Trying to absorb all these external voices has distracted me from my own voice. What do I really think about [insert subject here]? What brings me creative fulfillment? What am I passionate about? What is my style? And how can I find that in an endless sea of other people’s voices?
Today, I start with something small (a blog post that no one besides me will ever read) and I allow myself the space to suck at it, and the trust that I already have everything I need within myself.
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